From my journal, 31 August 2015:
Trying to move back to a solid base. Eating less, establishing some way-points during the day to check in, trying to ensure that I am moving through the day not in pursuit of some distant goal, or in fear of things falling apart. Looking to live and work at a pace and with an energy level that makes each action, each thought-stream and interaction meaningful in itself.
This is an ultimately subtle way of being, which is why – for me – a rigid imposition of rules always become lifeless after a few days in action. I hurry from one rule or ritual to the next, stop at each way-point and execute it symbolically (eating little and slow, stopping to centre every hour, drinking tea ceremoniously) and then hurry on mindlessly to the next way-point.
The Way is so much more subtle – will never reveal itself in such a harsh and rigid light. What is needed is much simpler and therefore more difficult: each moment should count as if it is the last. Each human interaction has to be kinder, more courageous, mindful. Each moment as it reveals itself has to be responded to with “one taste”
This is the work of a lifetime. And the recognition that the work can never be done – this too has to be responded to with the same courageous, patient spirit. I have found the key to doing this is to be confident – supremely confident – that it “is done”. Just to “go straight”, just doing it without doubt, analysis or discussion. And the only sign that is of help is the one that shows you have lost your way.