Today I sunk away into the familiar fruitful dark. The past few days I felt confident entering the studio, I liked my last two paintings and felt I had a method to work from concept to something I liked.
Tonight, the moment I stepped into the studio, I realised that had all changed. My last painting suddenly looked flat, dark and humdrum. I felt if I had achieved anything thus far it was nothing more than luck – which had now deserted me.
I have been here before – this change in confidence is like having a close travelling companion who suddenly changes personality. You cannot go on without him, but any step you take further with him will be risky, tough going. Creative work with him on my shoulder is torture and waste of material. What to do?
I have had my seasons with this companion, trying to fight things out. I always lost. Now I simply try to settle down, watch and wait for the tide to turn and limit any hurt to my self and those around me. So tonight, I set out to just put an imprimatura of Burnt Sienna on two blank canvasses. Just doing the work, no expectation of finishing anything.
The mind settled and in the end I took out two thumbnails of invented still lifes I liked (below), and started wiping away to create highlights. Slowly something emerged. I deepened some shadows and worked with lines of composition. By the time I had done, I had two potentially useful underpaintings (images above). I continue waiting…
My sincere thanks to all those who commented on my recent posts and encouraged me with likes. I plan to reply to your comments as soon as this goes to press. A special thanks to all of you who follow my blog.
I leave you with a poem of my own:
StrategyI’m doing strategy.Not fine detail stuff.Just the big blocks – markets, clients, focus, enemies.My plans unfold almost by themselves.I’m being guided!The map emerges from the half darkand conveys familiar territory.It’s a house plan. I don’t need a plan –I lived here as a child!I present the strategy to the board.They’re pleased:“This will take us to the next level – our plan is our protector”.Meanwhile, without strategy,the slumbering earthquakeeight miles down stretches its back.