This is me at the moment:
- Somewhat into, over middle-aged, male;
- Trying to find and live that spirit again – you remember – walking home from school, winter grass waist high, singing, alone, secretly happy just to be alive;
- Husband, father of two;
- Civil Engineer, Business Owner;
- Painter of pictures – some of which make me happy;
- Fairly normal (often tired, anxious, joyful, with-or-without hope, grateful);
A bit more:
For some years I have struggled with chronic fatigue (not diagnosed, but keenly felt), anxiety and – at times – depression. I have learnt to respect these three horsemen and trust that the tide goes both ways. If I relax and trust, the tide will turn. In my specific case, this has helped me to stay away from any medication related to these ailments. But more important for me – my darkness became something I could learn from, something of value to me.
I am indebted for the name of my blog to two authors whose books have helped me, one is Richard Rohr, in his book Falling Upward, he refers to the “luminous darkness” and writes that it explains the “simultaneous coexistence of deep suffering and intense joy in the saints”.
The other is Stephen Harrod Buhner, in his book The Transformational Power of Fasting. He directly names “fruitful darkness” in the following passage: “continually trying to look on the bright side interferes with our finding the wisdom that lies in the fruitful darkness”.
Some of my favourite things:
Book: Denial of Death by Ernest Becker
Movie: The Great Beauty
Song: Vicky – L’amour Est Bleu
Instrumental: Paul Mauriat ~ Love is Blue